Cookies and Rehab…

I’m a foodie. Like, a MAJOR one, so I spend a ridiculous amount of time cooking, compiling lists of places I wanna try, and most definitely eating. It should be no surprise that my favorite pastime is, you guessed it, EATING! I am the queen of snackers. You’ll catch me at any given moment with a snickers, a pack of oreos, and 3 soft peppermints from Chick fil a in my purse. And when I carry a backpack…man! Just know there’s enough food and juice in there for 4 people to survive a 3 month zombie apocalypse (if they’re smart and can ration correctly, that is).

I’m currently munching on chocolate chip cookies and watching Rehab Addict on HGTV. I prefer to keep the tv on either that channel or Food Network, just in case I feel the overwhelming urge to build a cabinet or cook a four-course meal. Watching this show really makes me question my committment, though. Why? Well, because I thought I was a rehab addict once. My wife and I moved into this really cute house in a historical neighborhood that just ‘needed a little work’ which was fine. I mean, I’m obviously capable of working on the house, HGTV taught me! So, we get moved in and I find that, no, the whole rehab thing just isn’t for me at all. First, it’s dirty. Really dirty. Every freaking aspect of a rehab project ensures that you get dirty and, honestly, my OCD refused to allow that. Secondly, it’s labor intensive. As hell. Now, I’m not lazy, but I am not a fan of manual labor either. Just the thought of raking the yard makes me cringe.

Needless to say, I didn’t last very long in that house. My wife did most of the work and I was ready to go after the 2nd week there. Literally. The moral of this story: If there’s one thing I’ve learned about myself it’s that I like things ‘new’. That’s why I like food and cooking, because you make it new and fresh. You go to restaurants and eat ‘new’, freshly prepared food (or so we hope). HGTV works well for me because they get to do all the work, but the actual results are completely new to me. Good shit, really. It’s clear to see how that could be a huge personality flaw, though. We’ll save that for another post. I’m going to continue watching and munching, trying to figure out exactly how those contractors manage to get all of that dirt and nastiness off of them at the end of the day. I mean, what wife is gonna let that in bed? I make myself easy to judge, this I know, but it doesn’t matter at all because this blog is NOT about you.


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